Come and have a word if you think you're smart enough

Friday, 27 February 2015

You know what, I am utterly fucked off with the ill mannered cunts that populate this world. You try your hardest to be a decent bloke, and yet everyone takes the fucking piss. I'm tired of being a receptacle for women with fucking arseholes for boyfriends, mates with arsehole girlfriends, people who have kids and need a babysitter, cunts who push their way into queues, everyone who takes advantage of my good nature. I mean when the fuck did we as a society collectively decide that being a decent human being wasn't worth the fucking effort? Ask people and they'll say what a decent guy I am, but all that means is that I get taken advantage of. My flatmate is an unbelievably selfish prick, and yet I still try to be a decent person around him when he is a total cunt. What the fuck is wrong with me that I try to display some good manners when everyone, and I mean everyone, is so determined to be an utter cunt? 

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Losing your fucking marbles

Just got back from my holidays with some of the best fucking people in the world. Seriously, you may think you have good friends, but I'd take the fucking Pepsi challenge on that any day of the fucking week my pedigree chum. A couple of thoughts from my time in Greece.:

1.Midnight swimming in the warm Aegean Sea is fucking top notch. Especially with a pretty girl.
2.Give back the fucking Marbles for fuck's sake. They belong to them. If it was the other way round, we'd be fucking screaming blue fucking murder about it. So sort it out.
3. I fucking rock beach bar parties (verifiable fact)
4. Greek hospitality is overwhelming
5. But they don't know jack shit about economics.
6. Greek is a fucking hard language to learn. But ultimately satisfying.

That is all. Take these facts, learn them, improve your life.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The amazing Dr Faustus at the incomparable Globe

Ruined by fucking twats. You do realise it's a fucking tragedy don't you? What the fuck do they teach you in those fucking schools?? I saw one young twat (dressed in his Oxford University hoodie of course) actually miming a quote from the play. I am delighted that you would learn Marlowe. Not so delighted that you think that Dr Faustus selling his soul and suffering eternal damnation is fucking funny you vacuous fucking moron. Christ on a bike, they were laughing at a character being beaten senseless and having an ear bitten off. An ear bitten off and these fucking idiots think it is funny. You know what, fuck the recession. Until these fucking arseholes learn to either shut the fuck up at the theatre, or read the fucking play beforehand they can take their ticket money and fuck right off. In fact, stick to the big shiny fucking screen where you don't have to think or imagine or invest anything into the wondrous beauty before your eyes.